We need to stop trying to be better.
Here’s how we learn this:
“I tried to be better than other people, and learned that I would have had more success if I’d focussed on building my own strengths (and targeting my own weaknesses) instead of fixing my goals to one person’s positive outcomes.”
“I tried to be better than a goal, and learned that by fixing my sights on one thing I missed a whole load of other opportunities.”
“I tried to be better than the person I was yesterday, and learn that the fixing yesterday’s me was forcing me to label her as someone who fell short.”
The problem with trying to be better is that we judge the thing we are trying to be better than. Judging is like liquid nitrogen: it freezes things in time. And once things are frozen we stop being curious – they aren’t going to change.
The person we look up to is the only way to do “good”. We’ll be a certain type of person if we achieve a particular goal. If we don’t seem to be doing better day on day we’re not successful.
How about trying simply to be better at being? More present, more curious, less frosty, less judgmental?
And if a side effect of being better be-ers* is that we are better at other stuff too, then maybe that’s okay.
* mmm, beers!
Claire Eadington geeks out on workflow management, performance and wellbeing. Claire’s TEDx talk about barriers to performance for exceptional women kicked off the 2017 TEDxWhitehallWomen event in London.
Claire writes a weekly blog, Self Curious, on NPW’s website.
Read more blogs here.